Making Memories
by Science-Fantasy93
Summary: A collection of various one shots centered around James and Katie.
1. Chapter 1 Maybe Someday

**Disclaimer:**** As painful as it is to admit, I do not, and probably never will, own Big Time Rush.**

**A/N: I know, I know, I have six (well, technically five) multi chapter stories up and they all need to be updated. So what am I doing posting a new story? Well, that's the beauty of it! It's a one shot collection. Basically, I love writing one shots as much as I love writing multi chapter fics, but they're clogging up my profile, so I figured I'd just do a collection of the different one shots I end up writing - ideas I come up with, requests that people send me (which I'm really bad about writing...), just anything that has to do with James and Katie, really. So there'll most likely be romance (duh), friendship, drama, comedy, fluff, angst, anything really. I hope you guys enjoy it, and I'm dedicating this first one shot to Dana2184 who just informed me that she needed something new to read. Here you go, Yogi!**

**Summary: Katie and school dances just don't go together. But when the hot actor off of a new drama asks her to be his date, she readily accepts, causing James to feel conflicted about his "proxy big brother duties" towards her and his own personal feelings.**

**Rating: T for strong language.**

**Okay, so, I usually make James and Katie closer in age, but this is technically canon, set a few years in the future, so he's 22 and she's 16.**

**Hope you guys enjoy "Maybe Someday" :)**

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_**Maybe Someday**_

**James' POV**

I love dances.

It's natural that I would, seeing as how I'm a dancer.

But in high school, before Gustavo moved Kendall, his mom and sister, Carlos, Logan, and me out to LA, I went to every single dance I could get a ride to. They were my favorite event of the year – after choir performances, musicals, and plays – and I worked hard to never miss one. And it was because of us that the Palmwoods school for the future famous had a couple dances a year.

When the guys and I graduated from the Palmwoods school, I found myself missing those dances, wishing that I could go to just one more. But at twenty-two, I had a feeling I might stand out a little amongst the high school-aged wannabe actors, singers, and dancers. And even though I tried to get a job as a chaperon, Miss Collins just laughed in my face. Apparently she was still dealing with bad memories of the time I spiked the punch.

Ever see the Jennifers drunk? It's enough to give anyone nightmares.

After that little incident with my old teacher shooing me away for _trying_ to be a responsible adult – oh, the irony – I decided to put my dreams of one more school dance to rest. I knew if I really wanted to, I could get Katie to take me, but the cost of the bribe I would have to use on her would be steep, and I wasn't too into the idea of blowing my entire savings account just so that I could dance with her.

Well, okay, maybe I was.

But that wasn't the point.

The point was, it just wasn't worth it. Besides, Katie wasn't the school dance type. She had spent most of her dances hanging out with me in 2J, watching stupid movies and TV shows. It was kind of our thing, for me to distract her from the awful endeavors of today's youth. Needless to say, it came as quite a shock when she told me she was going to the spring formal dance.

I must have been speechless for quite awhile, because she snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Hellooo, James. Did Logan's zombie-wannabe-virus thing hit you or something?"

I blinked. "Sorry. I'm just in shock. _You_ want to go to a school dance?"

She let out a huffy breath. "Not really. But Jesse Molloy asked me to go with him, and he's hot, so I said yes."

I chewed on my lower lip, trying to figure out how to instill selective hearing because I kind of really needed it at the moment. "Jesse Molloy? Isn't he that actor on that new drama on that one network?"

She heaved out another breath. "It's the CW and yes, he is."

"I don't like him," I said automatically.

"You don't even know him."

"Do you?" I challenged her, quirking an eyebrow up.

She had the decency to blush. "No, not really. But he asked me to go to the dance, and that's more than most of the other guys around here have done. Most of them just want to make out with me and then tell their friends I'm a slut."

"They do _what_?! Who are these perverted little fuckers?!"

"Oh, no, they don't actually do that," she said quickly, placing her hands on my chest to keep me in place as I tried to move towards the door. "But I overheard a couple of them talking. If they think they're getting any lip action from me, then they need a brain transplant, pronto."

I relaxed slightly. "Okay. Well, you're going to a dance. Do you need any help with anything?"

Katie grinned. "Funny you should ask that…Help me with an outfit?"

I grinned back. "Already done."

I drove her down to the mall, where we began to go through the different boutiques for juniors and girls under 5'2 – AKA the kids' stores.

"You know, it's no wonder boys don't want anything to do with me," Katie grumbled as she held up a size 12 pink and purple fluffy dress at the _Limited Too_. "I look like I'm ten."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't look like you're ten."

"Yes I do. I'm barely five feet tall, I have a baby face, and I have yet to get breast implants."

"You get breast implants, I'll kick your ass," I informed her. "Your chest is fine. Awesome, even. Anyway, I don't think we're going to find anything here. Let's go check out some other stores."

Katie blushed at my off-handed compliment, but followed me out. I led her into another store, this one a junior's, and immediately began tossing her dresses to try on. She scampered into the dressing room and I did a quick look through the shoe section, before selecting a couple pairs of Converse.

Katie hated high heels beyond anything else, but she loved her Converse, and these ones glittered with sequins, so as far as I was concerned, they were dressy.

"Katie?" I called once I reached the back hall, where the dressing rooms were.

"Yeah?" she replied from the stall furthest down.

"I've got a couple pairs of Converse for you to try on with the dresses." I slid them under the door and plopped down on a bench.

While I waited for her to come out, I checked my phone. A girl who I had kind of been seeing had wanted to know if I was interested in going to see some new movie that I was pretty sure had a lot of kissing in it. I responded with, "sure, I'd love to" and slipped my phone back in my jeans' pocket as the dressing room door swung open.

Katie stepped out in a deep purple spaghetti strap dress. The skirt was full, but not overly so, and the Converse sneakers looked amazing with it. And she looked amazing. Beautiful. Gorgeous.

Jesse Molloy was a lucky guy.

He had no idea how lucky he was.

No fucking clue.

Katie looked up at me, straightening out the skirt. "Well?" she asked anxiously. "Does it look okay?"

I nodded. "You look beautiful."

A wide smile burst across her face, like a golden sunrise over the ocean. "Thank you."

"It's the truth. Do you want to get it?"

She nodded eagerly. "Definitely."

"Okay. Go get changed."

I paid for the outfit, ignoring Katie's protests, and we grabbed a quick lunch in the food court before heading home.

Katie got ready for the dance, while I changed clothes and cleaned up for my date with Callie.

Katie emerged from her room and the same time I walked out of mine. There was a long pause where we just stared at each other, and then she cocked her head to the side. "You look nice."

"Thanks. So do you. Very pretty." And she did too. It was times like these when I was very much aware of the fact that she wasn't my actual sister, that she was a beautiful girl who I couldn't get much closer to. The only problems with being even the slightest bit attracted to her were her brother, and her age. There was a six year age difference, and as she had grown up, Kendall had become fiercely protective of her. It was my duty as her proxy big brother to be just as protective, if not more so. It _wasn't_, however, my duty as her proxy big brother to want to kiss her senseless. That would've been incest by proxy…I think…Something like that. In any case, I couldn't go after her without betraying Kendall and possibly even Katie's view of me. We had always been like brother and sister, and I didn't like that that was changing. It was uncomfortable and weird and it was enough to make me want to move down to Antarctica to join all the scientists down there. And I don't even like the cold. Or science. Or places that add extra, silent letters into their names. Because, really, who actually bothers pronouncing the _C_ in _Antarctica_ besides, like, Grammar Nazis and scientists?

Anyway. Not the point.

The point is, I just need to get through another two years until Katie's eighteen, and then maybe I can approach her with the idea of maybe, possibly dating. Of course, that was assuming that she didn't still see me as a big brother.

Katie beamed at me as she twirled around. "Thanks, Jamie." She walked over to me and kissed my cheek. "I should go, I'm meeting up with Jesse in the lobby."

"Okay, have fun," I told her. "And call me if you need anything, anything at all."

She smiled over her shoulder at me as she headed for the door. "Thanks, I will."

I smiled back, watching her step out into the hall and trying to ignore the churning and twisting in my stomach.

I left the apartment a little while later and picked Callie up. We drove to the cinema, got our tickets, and went on in.

"I'm so excited to see this movie," she squealed to me. "I mean, okay, I've seen it twice already, but it's sooo good. Believe me, babe, you're going to love this."

I nodded, but my mind was elsewhere – it was stuck on Katie. I wondered what she was doing right now…Maybe slow dancing with Jesse…Drinking spiked punch…No, scratch that. I hoped she wasn't drinking spiked punch. I had a feeling that dealing with a drunk Katie wouldn't be any fun.

We took our seats in the theater and the opening credits rolled around a couple of minutes later.

Callie clearly had no clue what kind of movies I liked, because within five minutes, my eyes were rolling back in my head and I was trying to come up with random song lyrics just to stay awake.

Luckily, the movie was only an hour and a half and I almost dragged her out of the theater to the car.

She giggled as I got the car started. "You were pretty eager to get out of there."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"You didn't really enjoy the movie, did you?"

"I've seen better," I admitted.

Callie pursed her lips thoughtfully before unbuckling her seatbelt. "I guess I'll just have to make it up to you." She turned in her seat and pressed her lips to mine. I kissed her back, automatically pulling her closer to me. She sighed, winding her arms around my neck to deepen the kiss.

At last, I pulled back, taking a deep breath.

"So," she began, "I'm thinking that we should go back to my apartment."

I paused before nodding. "I think I could get into that."

She grinned and pecked my lips. "Good."

I pecked her lips back and put the car in drive as she buckled her seatbelt back up.

We were almost back at the Palmwoods when my phone rang. I probably would have ignored it, but it was Katie's ringtone. What if she needed me? I dug it out of my pocket with one hand still on the steering wheel and clumsily answered it.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I have, like, a really huge favor to ask," she said uncertainly.

"What is it?"

"Can you come and pick me up? I know you're on a date, but I need to get out of here. It turns out Jesse was just using me and I don't want to stay here any longer. Please?"

"Don't worry, I'll be there in a few minutes. Hang tight."

"Thanks, James." Her voice was small and vulnerable, and I could clearly picture her hugging her arms around her tiny body, big brown eyes sad and scared.

"Anytime, baby girl." I hung up and tossed my phone into the cup holder in time to catch Callie scowling at me. "What?"

"Well, let's see. A – we're making a detour. And B – who the hell is _baby girl_?"

"I can drop you off at the Palmwoods if you want," I said quickly. "And it's Katie. She's at a school dance at a hotel a little ways away from here, and she found out that her date is an absolute prick. She needs me to come and pick her up."

"James, I invited you up to my apartment. I live in my apartment by myself. Alone. With a king sized bed."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But it's _Katie_."

"Here's the deal," she said coldly as I pulled into the Palmwoods parking lot. "Either you get out of the car and come up to my apartment with me, or we're through. It's me or Katie. Your choice."

I didn't even have to think about it. "Katie," I said simply. "See you around, Callie."

She glared furiously at me and got out of the car, slamming the door behind her so hard that for a moment I thought an earthquake had hit the Palmwoods parking lot.

Temper, temper.

I shrugged and headed back downtown. I found a parking spot outside the designated hotel and texted Katie to let her know I was there, before heading in. I wanted a word with Jesse Molloy.

I found Katie in the lobby, a brave expression not quite hiding the sheen of tears glistening in her eyes.

I hurried over to her and pulled her into my arms. She hugged me back, clutching fistfuls of my shirt. I held her tightly, stroking her hair and rocking her slightly, before pulling away. "So, what did the little fucker do?"

"He wanted to make his ex jealous," she explained, voice shaky. "It's why he asked me to the dance. Well, it worked. She got jealous and pulled him off the dance floor, and then they disappeared. And then one of his friends came over to me and informed me that Jesse was back with Marissa, and that there wasn't any need for me to be there. So I went off to find him to get him to confirm the story and I found them making out by the bathrooms. That was a pleasant sight," she added, tone laced with disgust.

I clenched my jaw. "Where the fuck is he?"

She pointed into the ballroom, and I stormed away from her, into the designated area.

The ballroom had been decorated with crepe paper and multiple disco balls. At one end of the room was a long table weighed down with a punch bowl and plates of cookies, brownies, and fudge. At the opposite end was a stage, where the DJ was controlling the music. Along the other two walls were chairs for those who were sitting out a dance.

Katie hurried after me, pleading with me not to do anything, but I studiously ignored her; instead, I worked on locating her prick of a date.

I quickly caught sight of him and made my way over. He glanced at me as I reached him.

"You can't cut in," he informed me as if he thought I was standing there, glowering at him, because I wanted to dance with his skanky date.

"I'm not trying to," I snapped back. "I want to know who the fuck you think you are."

"I'm Jesse Molloy, prick."

"I'm aware of that, asshole. I want to know where you get off on jerking Katie around."

He blinked at me. "I don't see why it matters to you."

"I'm James Diamond, you ignorant bastard. Katie Knight is my best friend's sister."

"Then why isn't her brother here, defending her honor?" he smirked.

"Because he's out of town, and I'm the one she called. So, here's your choice – you leave the dance, or you deal with me breaking your nose. Your call."

He froze for a second, before grabbing his date's hand and pulling her out of the ballroom. I grinned in satisfaction and turned around to face Katie. She was standing there, looking completely shocked.

I cleared my throat. "Um…you okay?"

She wordlessly nodded.

"Okay. Do you want to head out now…?"

She shook her head. "Actually, if you don't mind, I'd kind of like to stay here for a little while."

"Oh, okay. Call me when you want me to come and get you."

Before I could get more than a couple of steps towards the exit, Katie grabbed my hand. "No. I want you to stay," she said softly. "Dance with me?"

I nodded. "It'd be an honor." I readjusted my grip on her hand and steered her towards a relatively empty space of dance floor. She slipped her arms around my neck, and I wrapped mine around her waist, smiling at her. "You know every guy in here is jealous of me, right?"

She blinked up at me. "Why would they be jealous?"

"Because I'm dancing with the most beautiful girl in the room."

Her cheeks flushed pink and she smiled widely, standing on her tip toes to kiss my cheek, lips brushing against the corner of my mouth.

I pulled her closer and she rested her head on my shoulder, still smiling.

Maybe…maybe there was a chance that she didn't see me as her surrogate big brother. Maybe there was a chance that sometime in the future we would end up together. And who knew? Maybe there was a chance that she would ask me to be her date at the next dance.

Maybe we wouldn't end up together tonight. Maybe it wouldn't happen for a few years. Chances were, it wouldn't be for awhile. But maybe it would happen eventually.

Maybe someday.

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**So, there's the first one. I'm really hoping you guys enjoyed it, because I loved writing it. I'm a strict believer that James/Katie is canon (well, future canon) so imagining the different interactions between them is always fun for me, and it's where I get a lot of my one shots from.**

**And about my multi chapter stories, I promise I'm working on them, I just keep taking detours to write one shots. But hopefully at least one will be updated by the end of the weekend.**

**Anyway, please, please, please review, because I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this! I'd appreciate it so much, and I think the review button would too. :)**


	2. Chapter 2 Just Because I Can

**Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Big Time Rush. If I did, I'd be going to one of their concerts, but I'm not, so I don't.**

**Fanfanatic: Awww, thank you so much! I hope your opinion will stretch to this one shot as well :) And thank you for taking the time to review!**

**A/N: Um...so...wow. 17 reviews for "Maybe Someday"! That's incredible, people! I can't thank you guys enough for it, but just know that I am extremely grateful and thankful. :) So, this is the second one shot. It's not the one I was planning on writing, but I've had a crappy past few days so I decided to write some cute, fluffy James/Katie with a side of Katie-teenage-girl angst. Of course, what I was originally planning was also cute, fluffy James/Katie with teenage-Katie angst, but whatever. This came out instead in the space of maybe an hour, tops. So it's pretty short and I'm sorry if it's sloppy or sucky, just bear with me, please?**

**This one is also canon, or somewhat canon. Katie's 13 in this, and James is 19. Sorry, it's just a friendship fluffy fic, but I hope you guys like it. :)**

**Summary: When James walks into 2J, he finds a crying, frustrated Katie who has a few normal 13 year old girl problems...and she's not happy about it.**

**Rating: K+ for a little bit of cussing.**

**Enjoy "Just Because I Can"!**

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_**Just Because I Can**_

**James' POV**

When Katie cries, you know something bad has happened. At the very least, you know something bad has happened to her.

That's why when I walked into 2J after a long, hard solo dance rehearsal with Mr. X, the sound of muffled sobbing made the back of my neck prickle and my ears prick up.

I followed the sound of the crying to Katie's room, and lightly tapped on the door.

"Go away!" she wailed, sounding like the overemotional thirteen year old girl that she is. Granted, overemotional might be a small exaggeration, but you know what I mean. Thirteen year old girls are generally either voraciously happy or voraciously sad or voraciously angry. And as much as Katie argues me on that statement, I've been witness to some of the worst mood swings I have ever seen, each one courtesy of her. Let me tell you, there's nothing more scary than a hormonal, seriously pissed off teenage girl.

Which was why the prospect of actually entering the Inner Sanctum was so daunting and terrifying. I could have been Indiana Jones due to what I was about to do.

I squared my shoulders, hollered "I'm coming in!" and pushed the door open.

The room was dark, the sun blocked out by the deep purple drapes covering Katie's window, every single lamp shut off. Katie was laying on her stomach on her bed, sobbing into her pillow, clutching her favorite stuffed animal, a small brown Tabby cat, like her life depended on it.

I almost smiled at the sight of her holding onto Tabby – I had given it to her for her ninth birthday.

But I just couldn't manage the smile. Something was clearly wrong, and I had no idea what it was. All I knew was that I couldn't stand seeing her so torn up like this.

I slowly crossed the room, sinking down on the edge of Katie's bed. "Katie? Katie-Bear? What's wrong?"

"It's – it's nothing," she managed to get out in-between sobs. "Nothing at all."

"B.S. If it was nothing, you wouldn't be crying like you just lost your best friend."

Katie didn't even look at me.

"What's going on, sweetie?" I asked, reaching over to rub her back.

"People are stupid."

"Well…yeah…okay. Obviously. I don't think that's any reason to shed tears over them."

She slowly sat up, trying to wipe the tear tracks away. I grabbed a tissue and passed it to her; she took it gratefully and blew her nose.

"You know I don't really care about anything, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah…for the most part. Your friends and family and money are exceptions."

"It's just…well…it's stupid."

"Maybe so, but I can't judge until I know what's going on. What's so stupid?"

She let out a deep breath. "The kids here, the ones my age, they're…they're…they're…"

"They're what?"

"Mean…" she almost whispered out, as if it was a horrible secret that she had sworn never to reveal. "They're mean, especially the girls. The Jennifers' followers, the Gingers, well, they're…they…they're…"

"Mean?" I suggested.

"Yeah. They're mean. And they always seem to get _everything_. They get all the cool clothes, they get leather jackets – which they only wear to seem all badass – they're allowed to do stuff that Mom won't let me do, like wear a bikini or go on dates, they get all the boys – "

"Since when are you interested in boys?" I asked, nonplussed. Where had my baby Katie gone?

Katie flushed a bright red. "That's not important."

"Yes it is."

"It isn't."

"It is."

"No it's not."

"It's very important."

"Not in the least. Anyway, my point is, they get everything I want, and it's not fair, it's so frustrating. I mean, how do you compete with girls who are beautiful and rich and have modeled and acted and can get anything they want?"

I shrugged. "You don't. You be yourself. And FYI, Katie, you are rich – your brother's Kendall Knight from Big Time Rush. You have acted – you were in that really lame soap or laundry detergent commercial. And you're beautiful. More beautiful than those girls, who will one day end up getting nose jobs, boob jobs, and a whole lot of Botox injected into their faces. And there's one thing you are that they're not."

She blinked up at me. "What?"

"My Katie-Bear."

She smiled a little. "I guess I can live with that part…Maybe…"

"Hopefully definitely." I kissed the top of her head and pulled her into a hug. "After all, where would I be without you?"

"Very, very lost."

"Exactly. You've saved my ass so many times."

"Duh."

"Anyway, just remember that the next time they say something to you or parade their new outfit or bikini or whatever."

"Remember that I'm your Katie-Bear?"

I nodded. "Also remember that they're one day going to be a bunch of Botoxed creeps, and you'll be beautiful and look amazing and you'll have a super – blech – hot guy by your side."

"You think so?"

"Duh. Those girls already use so much self-tanner I'm amazed they haven't turned permanently orange."

"I meant the part about the hot guy by my side."

I shrugged. "Why not? Although first he'll have to get past Kendall and me, and possibly Logan and Carlos."

"I can live with that."

"Good." I got to my feet and headed for the door.

"James?"

"Yeah?" I turned around to look at her.

"Thanks."

I smiled at her. "You're welcome."

"And also…"

"Yeah?"

"The Gingers have decided you're going to be their much older boyfriend. So be on the lookout for that."

I groaned. "How am I supposed to date all three of them?"

"They're willing to share you."

"I don't want to be shared."

"They don't really care. You're hot and famous and dating you will make them even more fabulous."

"I'm six years older than them…"

"Once again, they don't really care."

I whimpered, thinking of the three girls, perfectly groomed, perfectly posed, perfectly evil smiles stretched across their faces. The Jennifers to the thirteen-year-old-bitchy-girl max.

My phone beeped and I pulled it out to see that I had just gotten a scuttbutt from_…"TheGinger1.0: JamesDiamond We should totes hang out sometime kk. Nxt time ur down at the pool we'll talk. Kbai."_

Next thing I knew, she had sent out another scuttbutt saying, "_Ginger1.0: Totes going to make JamesDiamond mine! He'll never know what hit him babes ;)"_

"What's wrong?" Katie asked as I slowly lowered my phone. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"Ginger #1 is after me…she wants to hang out…I'm going to have to avoid the pool until she moves out!"

Katie shuddered. "Well, in the meantime, you wanna hang out up here? Watch a movie with me?"

I nodded as she grabbed her remote and sat down beside her on her bed. "Popcorn?"

"Please? Which movie?"

"Put in any of the Harry Potter ones."

"Sounds good. Butter and salt on the popcorn?"

"Already done. Root beer floats?"

"Pretty, pretty please with chocolate ice cream on top?"

"Not a problem."

She popped the _Chamber of Secrets_ into the DVD player while I popped the popcorn and made us root beer floats. We spent the next two and half hours together, just hanging out and relaxing.

"You know," Katie said as she stuffed handful of popcorn in her mouth, "getting everything you want must be nice. But I bet it gets boring after awhile. Also, the Gingers clearly don't have a James."

"They'd love to have a James."

"I mean, they don't have someone who spends time with them, just because they can. So, thank you."

I smiled at her. "My pleasure."

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**So yeah, another fluffy friendship Jatie one shot...And I thought I could only write sexually charged, T and up Jatie. Clearly I just proved myself wrong. **

**Anyway, please review and let me know if you liked it or not! Also, shout out to Jatieluv who's currently at a Big Time Rush concert and got to meet them earlier! **

**And while this doesn't really have anything to do with BTR, I'd just like to say RIP to Cory Monteith.**


	3. Chapter 3 If You Never Ask

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Guest: Thank you so much, I'm so happy you enjoyed it! And thank you for reading and reviewing :) You rock!**

**FanFanatic: No problem! I try to do that with all my reviewers. Aww, thank you! Nope, I make a point of trying to update. It might not be super often, but I do try. You're welcome! And thank you for taking the time to read and review, I really appreciate it :)**

**Nea: That's not creepy at all, that's very flattering! Thank you so much! I know, it sucks that Jatie isn't as popular as other pairings. Aww, thanks! And thank you for taking the time to read and review, I mega appreciate it :)**

**Huge thanks to everyone who is taking the time to read, follow, favorite, and review this story! You guys are awesome!**

**A/N: This is another canon one shot, but it's a little bit different. For one, it's written in third person rather than first, which is my usual preference. For another, it switches POV constantly, which is the main reason why I chose to write in third person; it seemed like it might get a little confusing if I kept it in first, so I hope you guys don't mind the change. This takes place about three years or so after the fourth season finale. Katie's 17 and James is 23. Once again, this isn't the one I originally planned to write, but the I had kind of been playing around with the idea in my head and it finally hit me full blast today, so I just had to write it out. I really hope you guys enjoy it :) **

**And huge shout out to Dana2184 Haitus because she suggested another one shot idea about five minutes before I got the inspiration for this one, and I'm so bad at writing and posting the stories she's requested. One day it'll happen. One day. Also, she just posted a new story called "Cold Dark December". It's Jatie and it's a mystery/horror story, and it's very intriguing, so if you haven't already, go check that out :)**

**Summary: Kendall is pretty sure James and Katie are together. The problem is, no one seems to know for sure.**

**Rating: T for language, innuendos, and protective Kendall.**

**Enjoy "If You Never Ask..." :)**

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_**If You Never Ask...**_

Kendall Knight stared at the two people lounging on the couch.

His best friend and baby sister were in the middle of one of their infamous movie-watching-fests, neither looking around to see the dumbstruck Kendall standing behind them, gaping at them like a fish caught on a hook. A thought had just hit him like a bolt of lightning and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all. Not one little bit.

James and Katie were snuggled up under a bright blue blanket with a pattern of Teddy bears spreading out over it. Kendall knew that the blanket was softer than soft, made of warm cotton, more cozy than a snuggly. But he didn't have any actual experience laying under it. It was James' special blanket, the one that had rested on his bed ever since they had moved into the Palmwoods seven years before. Now at twenty-three, he still refused to get rid of it, claiming it was as much a part of him as his hair or his Lucky comb.

But that wasn't what Kendall was incredulous over.

What he couldn't quite wrap his mind around was the fact that James was _sharing_ it with someone. And not just anyone – he was sharing it with Kendall's seventeen year old sister! That was as good as a proclamation of love coming from James. No one – not Kendall, not Logan, not Carlos, not Mrs. Knight, not James' mom – had ever been allowed to use his precious blanket. So the fact that Katie was cuddled up to James under it was more than a little unnerving and definitely a cause of worry.

Kendall stomped over to them, flicking the lights on and snatching the remote up from where it was resting in James' lap, putting the movie on pause.

"Hey!" James protested. "Personal bubble here, dude!"

"You don't seem to have that problem with Katie," Kendall snarked. "You know, my _baby sister_?"

Katie rolled her eyes. "Oh, dear God. Are you seriously getting pissed at him for watching a movie with me?"

"No, that'd be stupid. I'm getting pissed at him because he's sharing his blanket with you!"

James and Katie both gawped at him like he had taken a ride on the crazy train and gotten off at Loony Bin Station. And maybe he had, because what he had just said had sounded pretty insane to him.

At last, Katie shook her head. "Yeah, whatever."

"Well, can I join you?" Kendall wanted to know, eyeing the blanket.

"Hell no!" Katie cried. "This is Katie-Bear and Jamie-Bear alone time. No one, not even you, interrupts it."

"_Katie-Bear and Jamie-Bear alone time_?" Kendall repeated back, trying to make sense of the nicknames and the meaning of _alone time_.

"Yes," she said crisply. "As in, James and I are hanging out by ourselves. And stop mentally freaking out," she added, giving Kendall a knowing look. "You guys all have your time together – you and Logan, you and Carlos, you and James, Logan and Carlos, Logan and James, James and Carlos, etc."

"But Logan and Carlos don't spend alone time with you!" Kendall almost screamed.

Katie shrugged. "I'm not quite as close to them as I am with you and James."

Kendall relaxed slightly, mollified for the time being. "Well…okay. Enjoy your movie."

"Thanks," James flashed him a wide, toothy grin. "We will."

"Just not too much, you man whore." And with that Kendall retreated into his room, slamming the door shut. Well. That was a little nuts. He had never realized just how close James and Katie were. He knew they spent a lot of time together, but he hadn't actually seen them when they were in the middle of quality time with each other.

Thank God it wasn't the quality time that Kendall knew James liked with other girls. Otherwise, Kendall would have had to kill James, and he wasn't big on murdering his best friends.

But he would do it for Katie's virtue.

That was none negotiable.

Before he could collapse on his bed with his headphones drowning out any noise from the movie, he heard James say to Katie, "Hey, pass the popcorn, would ya?"

Kendall snorted. Please. If James thought he was going to get any popcorn, then he must've been living on Neptune. Katie didn't share her popcorn, not with anyone. The last time Kendall had tried to sneak a handful, he had winded up with a bruised jaw.

And he had only gotten off easy because he was Katie's brother.

"Sure," Katie replied, and a moment later James said,

"Thanks."

Wait…This couldn't be right.

Kendall crept back to his door and slowly, silently opened it. He could see James munching on a handful of popcorn, while Katie grabbed another fistful, sliding closer to him.

Well. Hell would be freezing over any day now.

As Kendall laid back on his bed, slipping his headphones over his ears and flipping through his iPod playlists until he reached a death metal one, he couldn't help but finish the thought that had struck him so abruptly out in the living room.

What if James and Katie were in love?

* * *

Logan Mitchell could only concentrate under certain conditions. Peace. Quiet. Solitude. Those were his requirements for when he was writing, solving a complex math equation, or reading.

Notice how none of those conditions involved Kendall sitting in the chair beside him, staring at him unblinkingly, chin cupped in his hands, while Logan tried to understand this advanced physics question he had found online.

Logan clenched his teeth, his fingers tightening around his pencil in a death grip. He was tense, he was rigid, and he was going to kill Kendall if he kept staring at him like that.

After several more seconds where Kendall just gazed at him unflinchingly, Logan threw down his pencil and snapped his head around to glare furiously at Kendall. "_What_?!"

"I told you five minutes ago, Logan. I need to talk to you about James and Katie."

Logan groaned, shoving the blank piece of paper away before he stuffed it down Kendall's throat. Everyone in apartment 2J knew that between the hours of ten to eleven AM, Logan was not to be disturbed. It was his _me time_, the time when he challenged his brain, keeping it supple and limber for the day when he would enter college and continue on with his education.

"What about them?" Logan demanded, already feeling a slight throbbing in his left temple. "What did they do now?"

"James shared his special blanket with Katie and she let him have some of her popcorn."

Logan quirked an eyebrow. Strange. Suspicious. Fishy. And seriously? Was that all Kendall wanted to talk about? Not the fact that he was interrupting Logan's special time, but that James and Katie were extremely close?

Kendall made no sense sometimes.

"I'm serious," Kendall insisted. "I know you think this is a laughing matter, but remember what happened the last time one of us touched James' blanket? Or the last time one of us tried to grab a handful of popcorn?"

Logan paused, chewing on his bottom lip. In all fairness, Kendall did have a halfway decent point. The blanket had been a gift from James' grandmother right before she died, and he had cherished it beyond almost anything else. His Lucky comb and his hair were the exception. And then there was Katie. He had no idea why she was so possessive of her popcorn, although he had a feeling it had to do with the time Kendall had hosted a sleepover at his house a few years before they moved to LA, and they had eaten all the popcorn before Katie could get any.

Sometimes he wondered just how much they screwed up that poor child.

"You see my point, right?" Kendall asked him hopefully.

Logan sighed. "I suppose…Something's afoot."

"Exactly!"

"Maybe," he added firmly. "We don't actually know. James has always been closer to Katie than Carlos or me. I can't believe you're just now seeing this."

"No, I knew. I just…Do you think there might be something…more?"

"More?" Logan blinked at him, an unusually blank expression on his face. "What do you mean?"

"Like…maybe they're…in love…?"

Logan blinked again, completely nonplussed. Why on earth would Kendall even suggest such a thing?

"Look, I don't like it anymore than you do. In fact, I probably like it less since, you know, _Katie's my baby sister_. But you didn't see them together last night, Logan," Kendall barged on. "They were cuddled up together. They looked just like a couple!"

Logan opened his mouth before closing it, taking a moment to get his thoughts together before saying to Kendall, "Chances are it's nothing, but if it'll set your mind at ease, we'll find out."

Kendall nodded. "Thank you."

"You know, now that I think about it, James has been pretty…demure…since his breakup with Lucy."

Kendall raised an eyebrow and Logan swallowed, thinking about what he had just said. James and Lucy had had one of the most tumultuous relationships any of them had ever seen, and somehow it had lasted for over three years. Granted, they had broken up more times than any of them could count, but they had always gotten back together. But they had ended things six months ago and for once James had seemed satisfied to just leave everything as is. When questioned about it by his band mates, he had simply shrugged and said, "It just wasn't as good as it could be." Not one of them had bothered to interrogate him further, but now that he was thinking about it, Logan couldn't help but wonder if the reason why James had been so comfortable with giving up his relationship with Lucy was because he had discovered that he had feelings for a certain teenage girl…

From the look on Kendall's face, he was following the exact same train of thought as Logan, but neither of them voiced their concerns out loud. Instead, Logan just gave up on this damn physics question and got to his feet. "Come on, let's go see if we can find some proof."

He and Kendall were out of the apartment and down in the lobby before they realized they had no idea where they were going to get any sort of proof from. What were they supposed to do, question the other hotel residents? Ask Bitters if he had seen James and Katie making out lately? See if Lucy knew anything about why James suddenly didn't give a damn if he ever got her back or not?

There was a pause, and then Logan spotted Carlos out by the pool, munching on a corndog and chatting with Guitar Dude. Since Carlos shared a room with James, there was a good chance that he knew things about James that neither Logan nor Kendall did. And he had been relatively close with Katie when they were younger; maybe not in the way that James and Katie were, but close enough. Carlos had been like the best friend with the really bad ideas, while James had been the protective older brother figure to Katie. And everyone knew that the protective older brother figure was the one who always ended up with the girl.

Huh. Maybe they really did have something to worry about.

Logan nudged Kendall, indicating his head towards Carlos, and Kendall nodded to show that he understood what Logan was trying to signal.

It was time to interrogate Carlos about their fourth best friend.

* * *

Carlos was what he considered to be a loyal best friend. He never spilled a secret, at least not intentionally, and he was always there for his friends, even when he was having a bad day.

So being dragged away from the pool and into one of the cabanas by Kendall and Logan was far from appreciated, considering if he had been the one with the questions, he would have just asked them nice and politely instead of kidnapping them and shoving them into a chair while leaning over them and shining his phone's light in their face.

He writhed in the chair, clawing at them, trying to bat the phone out of Kendall's hand. "I didn't do it! I didn't do it!" he shrieked, kicking and flailing everywhere.

Logan furrowed his brow. "What didn't you do?" he asked in confusion.

"Whatever it is that you guys think I did!" he wailed, finally managing to rip the phone from Kendall's grip. The device clattered to the ground and Kendall let out a yell, diving for it. Carlos seized the opportunity, leaping to his feet and making a dash for the cabana's opening. Logan threw himself at Carlos, knocking him down and they went falling to the pavement in a hard tumble, limbs upon limbs, skulls cracking against kneecaps and elbows.

Kendall winced as he watched his best friends scrabbling on the ground, fighting to gain the upper hand as they rolled around. Shaking his head, he made his way over to them and hollered, "Break it up!"

They both glared up at him.

"You guys kidnapped me," Carlos pouted as he pried himself away from Logan and picked himself up, dusting his shirt and jeans off. "And you didn't even tell me why or ask nicely. Alexa will have something to say about that," he added, a hint of warning entering his voice.

Kendall rolled his eyes. He really didn't have the time or focus to think about what Carlos' spy/actress/invisible girlfriend might have to say about them hauling Carlos away from the pool area and locking him in a cabana. "Whatever. Don't tell her."

"You guys kidnapped me! I should report you to the police!" Carlos cried, outrage glowing in his mocha brown eyes. He crossed his arms, spreading his legs and stabilizing his stance. "Alexa is definitely going to be hearing about this."

"Don't you want to hear why we kidnapped you in the first place?" Logan reasoned with him.

He paused. "I guess…"

"You and James share a room, so you probably know stuff about him that Kendall and I don't."

Carlos nodded eagerly. "Lots of stuff! Like that he rarely wears briefs because he's afraid they might mess with his sperm count, and he secretly loves Kelly Clarkson songs."

Both men frowned, before shaking their heads simultaneously.

"Logan and I were thinking more along the lines of stuff about James and Katie," Kendall clarified, and Carlos frowned as well.

"No, not really. They're just really good friends. They're always there for each other. She helped him get over his breakup with Lucy, and when that one dude dumped Katie, James went after him and managed to scare him away from the Palmwoods for good."

"He also freaked Austin Mahone out enough to keep him from kissing Katie," Logan recalled.

Kendall grinned. "I remember that. Katie was _not_ happy."

"But she ended up forgiving him in the end, once she realized that he was just trying to look out for her."

"He practically stalked Katie on her first date," Carlos put in. "And she was really annoyed with him, but she forgave him that time as well."

All three men smiled at the memories, before Kendall's face clouded over, and Logan bit his lip.

"What?" Carlos demanded. "What aren't you guys telling me? Why did you want to know about James and Katie?"

"Kendall thinks James and Katie might be in love," Logan explained. "Or at least dating."

Carlos let out a laugh. "Yeah, that's funny. They're like brother and sister. They're so close, they spend every waking moment together when he isn't working and she isn't in school. They do everything together. She runs off girls who only show interest in him because they want to be able to say that they screwed James Diamond, and he punches guys who only want to get in Katie's pants." He paused as he thought over what he had just said. "Wow…they almost sound like they're jealous…" Another pause. "They really do sound like they're jealous." His eyes bugged out. "Maybe they are together!"

"We need proof!" Logan announced, holding up his finger to emphasize his point, a manic gleam in his eyes. "Move out!"

They rushed out of the cabana and across the pool area, into the lobby once again.

"Who do we interrogate?" Kendall wanted to know.

"First off, we're not interrogating anyone. Second, let's go check out the gym. James is probably there and before he and Lucy got together, he was always flirting with girls, showing off for them," Logan informed him, before leading the way to the gym, Kendall and Carlos quickly hurrying to match their pace with his.

They reached the Palmwoods gym, peering through the windowed wall.

"Nothing," Carlos' shoulders slumped in disappointment. "I don't see James at all."

"Guess it's a no go," Logan sighed and Kendall nodded.

"I really have no idea where else we could get proof. I mean, I guess we could ask Lucy, but – "

Before he could finish his sentence, Carlos let out a shout, pointing at the window. "Look!"

Logan and Kendall both leaned forward, staring through the window. A moment later, their eyes alighted on a very sweaty James. He was running on the treadmill, and from the way his chest was rising and falling, he was breathing very hard. And standing in front of the treadmill, holding a stopwatch, was Katie, one hand on her slim hip.

"Since when is Katie his gym trainer?" Logan demanded.

The other two couldn't even come up with an answer; instead, they just gaped at James and Katie as James slowed to a stop. Katie passed him a towel and a bottle of water, and he mopped his glistening forehead before downing the water. She said something to him and he smiled widely at her. She returned the smile before leading him over to the weight bench.

As they made their way over, a pretty blonde girl intercepted them, flipping her hair and giggling as she stuck her chest out, clearly trying to get James' attention. Instead, he just shook his head and passed by her, leaving her standing there, jaw dropped.

"Wow…" Carlos breathed out. "This is serious…"

Kendall and Logan both slowly nodded in agreement.

"So, what's next?" Logan asked as they finally looked away from the window, still stunned from the sight of James turning down a girl.

Kendall set his jaw determinedly. "Time to go talk to Lucy."

* * *

If there was one thing that drove Lucy crazy, it was seeing _her_ with _him_. It wasn't that she wasn't completely over James, but it was the very idea that she had quite possibly lost him to a little teenage girl. Granted, she didn't know that for sure and she hadn't actually asked him, but it certainly wouldn't surprise her if that was the case.

So, it wasn't completely her fault that she was just the tiniest bit jealous when it came to Katie Knight. After all, all she ever seemed to hear during the last few months of her relationship with James was _Katie_ this and _Katie_ that. It was like James was completely obsessed with her, his normally one tracked mind narrowing down to a dead end. Before, whenever they would break up, James would always be at her door within a day, her favorite flowers and chocolates in hand, ready to beg and plead his way to makeup sex. But the last time – the final time – they had broken up he hadn't shown up at all. Instead, at the moment he was due to arrive with apology gifts and a hopeful look in his huge hazel eyes, she had seen him down at the pool with one Katie Knight, laughing his head off and looking…_happy_.

Lucy cared about James, had even loved him at one point, but she hated to see any of her exes happy after a breakup with her, especially James. Her relationship with him had been insane, a constant rollercoaster ride, and there had been times when she wasn't sure they would make it another day. But she had always assumed that she would be the one to walk away, the one who finally said "enough!" and found someone else, someone better than _him_. It had never once occurred to her that it might be him who finally just gave up and went after someone else.

And to think, it was Katie Knight…

Even if they weren't together, and she wasn't positive that they were, they would be eventually, that much was obvious. His focus had switched from her to Katie almost a year ago, and it had driven Lucy nuts. Which, could you blame her? Anyone would go insane when you couldn't even say "hi" to someone without being told everything that a practically prepubescent girl had said to them that day.

Okay, so maybe she was being a little hard on Katie. She was seventeen, not exactly prepubescent. But that didn't make Lucy feel any better in the least. Katie was more than old enough to realize how hot James was, and Lucy was pretty sure James didn't even look at her whenever Katie was in the vicinity.

And she had just spotted them in the gym, James bench pressing who-knows-how-much weight, Katie counting reps. And honestly, it made her sick.

But seriously, she was happy for him. She would just have been a little bit happier if he had been lonely and miserable for another year or so.

She settled in a chair in the lobby, arms and ankles crossed, a scowl on her face. She should've known better than to expect James to be depressed and miserable, and she certainly should've known better than to ever date him.

A shadow settled over her and she looked up into Kendall, Logan, and Carlos' faces.

Lucy blinked up at them. "Something I can help you with?"

"Yeah," Kendall said gruffly. "Do you think James has been acting…weird?"

"James always acts weird," she replied sullenly. "You'll have to be more specific."

"Do you think James has been acting weird around Katie?"

"Oh my God, you have no idea," she straightened up in the chair, arms dropping to her sides. "All I heard for the last few months of our relationship was _Katie _this and _Katie _that and _guess what Katie said, Lucy_. It was nauseating."

"Do you think they're – " he visibly swallowed – "together?"

"Well, if they're not, then they will be before long," she responded bluntly. "I mean, have you seen them around each other? It's sick. He was never like that with me. I thought his dream was to kiss me," she added, a very un-bad ass pout settling over her face.

"It used to be," Kendall tried to reassure her. "But, you know, people change. They grow up. They realize that what they wanted at one point in their life might not be what they want later on."

"Don't get me wrong, Kendall," Lucy got to her feet, crossing her arms. "I'm completely, totally over James. But it still sucks seeing him so – so – in _love_." She winkled her nose at the word, her stomach rolling in protest. "I guess maybe they were always meant for each other, though," she added. "Maybe he was just waiting for her to grow up."

"She's seventeen!" Kendall wailed. "She's too young for him!"

"That's a manner of opinion," Logan piped up, coughing nervously. "And in just a few months from now, she'll be turning eighteen – she'll be a legal adult."

Kendall clapped his hands over his ears, singing at the top of his lungs. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" He stormed away and Logan and Carlos both gave Lucy an apologetic look.

"We've got to go make sure he doesn't try to kill James or search for a time machine," Logan explained quickly before hurrying away with Carlos.

Lucy stared after them. "Why are you all so weird?!" she shouted, but to no avail. Shaking her head, she plopped back down in the chair, thinking maybe it was about time to write a song about her wacky neighbors at the Palmwoods.

* * *

It was later that day when Kendall, Logan, and Carlos found themselves staring at Katie's bedroom door. It was closed, and occasionally they could hear her let out a giggle, or James laugh uproariously, before silence falling behind the door once more.

"What do you think they're doing in there?" Carlos asked, biting at his lower lip nervously.

"Maybe he's helping her with something," Logan suggested, fidgeting anxiously.

"Oh, I just bet he is," Kendall growled, just as Katie let out a shriek.

"James!"

"See?!" Kendall cried. "She's screaming his name!"

"Maybe he's tickling her," Carlos shrugged. "She's been laughing, so…"

"Or he could be screwing her senseless," Kendall clenched his fists ferociously. "In which case, he won't survive the night."

"Come on, buddy. Are you really going to risk losing your best friend just because he has feelings for your sister?" Logan asked him.

"Yes! No one touches Katie! No one!"

"But wouldn't James be the best choice if someone was allowed to touch her? I mean, you know he'd treat her right, he would never hurt her. They've been together practically since the day she was born, so it's not like you have to worry about him breaking her heart. And they clearly love each other in at least one way. You know it's true," he added in a sing song voice. "You know James would be the best guy for Katie."

Kendall groaned. "Fine. But if he's defiled her, then his face is still going through a wall." And with that, he threw Katie's bedroom door open and stormed in there.

Logan and Carlos followed him in, stomachs twisting at the scene they might walk in on.

They all froze as they caught sight of James and Katie. They were lying on their stomachs on her bed, her trigonometry textbook spread out in front of them. They looked up at Kendall, Logan, and Carlos in confusion, mouths open a little.

Kendall recovered his bravado first, drawing himself up to his full height and spitting out, "What the hell is going on here?!"

Katie gave him a long look. "It's called studying, Kendork. Since I'm still in school, it's kind of a requirement."

"Yeah, but – but – what's _James_ doing studying with you? He graduated."

"I'm helping her with trig," James responded. "You know that was one of the subjects that I was actually able to pass with no problem."

"Which makes no sense since you barely understood algebra."

James shrugged. "And you got to pre calc but had a ton of problems with geometry."

"Yeah, fine, you've made your point. But what was going on? We heard laughter and – and – screams!"

"James has an entertaining teaching style," Katie said simply. "He's not all boring like Logan gets when he tries to teach me stuff."

Logan squeaked in outrage.

"He was telling me jokes and stuff," Katie continued on. "So whatever you think was going on, it wasn't."

Silence fell as Kendall, Logan, and Carlos took that in.

Logan was the first to speak: "So, uh," he cleared his throat. "We'll just leave you to your studying."

"You do that," Katie fixed them with a steely gaze as they backtracked out of her room, closing the door behind them.

"See? See?!" Logan whipped around to face Kendall. "I told you!" he hissed. "I told you there was nothing going on! They're just friends! He's like her big brother! I _told_ you!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Kendall's shoulders slumped in relief and he let out a deep breath. "Whew. I can't believe I actually thought they were dating. I have never been so happy to be so wrong."

"I can't believe I let you guys talk me into actually thinking that James and Katie could actually fall in love." Carlos shook his head. "I mean, I know I'm the gullible one, but sheesh. That takes the cake."

"That it does," Logan nodded in agreement. "I'm not listening to Kendall ever again. Come on, let's go grab smoothies. I don't know about you guys, but I need a serious pick-me-up."

"Agreed," Kendall bobbed his head and they made their way across the room. "Maybe one day we can get James to explain to us why he's so set on living here…Since it's because of him that we're still living in 2J with my mom and little sister."

"He's probably just attached to the swirly slide," Logan laughed, opening the door and bounding out in the hallway. "You know how he gets."

"So very true."

* * *

Katie smirked as she closed her door the inch or so it had been open, before making her way back over to James. "They're planning on asking you why you insisted on staying here."

James held his arms out to her and she crawled into them, resting her head on his chest. "And they're not getting it out of me for awhile longer, since I wanted to stay here so that I could be with you."

"You know those idiots have been running around the Palmwoods all day, trying to figure out whether or not we're together, right?"

"Yeah, they haven't exactly been quiet about it." James shook his head. "And they think I'm the stupid one."

"You're not stupid," Katie cooed, leaning up for a kiss. "They don't give you nearly enough credit."

He smiled slightly, nuzzling his nose against her hair, pulling her closer. "By the way, Lucy left a nasty voice message on my phone earlier. Something about us all being weird and me not being miserable enough and you stealing me away from her."

"I didn't steal you away from her," Katie laughed.

"I know. I was already falling for you when Lucy's and my relationship ended. We were all out of ammo, it was time for it to just be finished, and you showed me that."

"Glad I could help," Katie grinned in satisfaction.

"Me too."

She tilted her head back and he kissed her again. She hummed contentedly before pulling back. "You know they're going to have to find out at some point, right?"

James nodded, before frowning slightly.

"What?"

"Do you think we should tell them now?" he asked, a little worriedly, and Katie snorted.

"No thanks. I happen to like you in one piece and we both know Kendall would try to kill you. And besides…they never asked."

James grinned. "Very true."

She grinned back and reached up for another kiss.

* * *

**So yeah, very different, but hopefully it works :) It was just an idea that I've kind of been messing around with in my head, and it finally developed enough for me to type it out. I hope you guys enjoyed it and if you did, please review! I would love to hear what you thought of it :)**


	4. Chapter 4 Text Me, Text Me, Baby

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, owned Big Time Rush, or anything recognizable in this.**

**Guest#1: Aww, thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed it :) And thank you for taking the time to read and review, I really appreciate it.**

**RAEchel: I haven't heard the song, but when I get a chance, I'll check it out and possible do a one shot of it. Thank you for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it very much :)**

**Guest#2: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it! And thank you for taking the time to read and review, it's much appreciated :)**

**Humongous thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read, follow, favorite, or review! You guys are amazing!**

**A/N: Okay. So. Don't ask me what this is, because I don't actually have a freaking clue. This is plot-less, pointless, and total crack. I'm not even sure if it makes any sense. Basically, yesterday I found this website called ifaketext, which basically generates iPhone conversations. You just have to put in the names and the convos. So, I was messing around on it today and I started spamming Dana2184 with a bunch of the fake texts featured in this. And then I was like, "You know, this could be a one shot." And she basically responded with, "Ya think?" So. That's how this came about.**

**I'm massively dedicating this to her because she was nice enough to also message James' and Katie's responses back and forth with me so that I could get a feel for the format, since I've never done a texting story before. Also, a couple of Katie's responses were pure her, so you can thank her for that. Plus, she put up with me ad libbing on her at random times...So, yeah. Anyway, if you guys haven't already, go and check out her Jatie story "Cold Dark December"! It's a mystery/thriller and she just posted the first actual chapter yesterday. Very interesting and intriguing.**

**Okay, one more thing. James' texts are in bold, Katie's texts are in italics, and Camille's texts are in bold italics. These "..." indicate pauses in the conversation. I might have screwed up at some point with the formatting, so let me know. Also, there's some dialogue in this, but it's pure dialogue, no description, so keep that in mind. This is also AU. James is 25 and Katie is 23, and this takes place in Minnesota. Plus, they're "platonic" roommates.**

**Summary: James is bored and really wants chocolate doughnuts. Unfortunately for him, Katie doesn't really care.**

**Rating: T for language and innuendos.**

**Enjoy "Text Me, Text Me, Baby" :)**

* * *

"Text Me, Text Me, Baby"

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:05 PM]:**

**You know what I love?**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:06 PM]:_

_You mean besides yourself and pussy?_

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:06 PM]**

**Ouch, straight to the heart. And I do love cats ;)**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:08 PM]_

_What do you love, James?_

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:09 PM]**

**Those chocolate doughnuts from that one bakery on the corner of Wilshire BLVD. Can we get some? =D**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:14 PM]**

**It's been 5 minutes and you haven't responded :( Pleeeeeaaaassseee can we get some?**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:15 PM]_

_You know, some people actually work for a living instead of stripping and posing in magazines. And no, we can't, because they're freaking expensive._

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:15 PM]**

***Sad face* :(**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:16 PM]_

_N.O._

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:18 PM]**

**I won't stop texting you until you say yes.**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:19 PM]**

**Pleeeeaaasseee!**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:20 PM]**

**Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:21 PM]**

**Speaking of which, can we get that chocolate and cherry cake as well? :D**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:22 PM]_

_What do you mean as well?! We were never going to get the chocolate doughnuts to begin with!_

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:22 PM]**

**Hah! I knew I could get you to respond ;)**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:26 PM]_

_Dammit, James, leave me alone, I'm in the middle of a meeting!_

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:28 PM]**

**Newspapers have meetings? O_o Color me skeptical.**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:31 PM]_

_Yes. Yes, they do. Now. Do me a huge favor and leave me alone._

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:33 PM]**

**Only if you get the doughnuts and cake on your way home. O beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of sugar!**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:33 PM]**

**And maybe get a thing of red velvet cookies as well?**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:37 PM]_

_For a model who does nudes once in awhile, you sure don't eat very healthy. And that's not how the song goes._

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:38 PM]**

**So what? And ooohhhh well. And how do you know I do nudes sometimes? I haven't told anyone that…**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:38 PM]_

…_.._

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:30 PM]**

**You looked in my portfolio, didn't you? Liked what you saw? ;)**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:31 PM]**

**Or maybe you just goggled me.**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:31 PM]**

****Googled. Stupid autocorrect.**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:32 PM]_

_I really have to go._

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:32 PM]**

**Not so fast, Baby Kat. Hey, that kinda rhymes…Anyway, where did you find the nudes? O_o**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:24 PM]_

_Your portfolio…._

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:35 PM]**

**Tell you what, I'll go down to the bakery and get the desserts. Anything for my number one fan ;) Stick that foam finger in the air, baby, and do a Miley Cyrus!**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:36 PM]**

**Anything you're hungry for, besides my sausage? If ya know what I mean…;)**

_[From: Katie ;) Fri. 2:40 PM]_

_Go fuck yourself, Diamond. I'm done._

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:41 PM]**

**Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:46 PM]**

**Katie?**

**[To: Katie ;) Fri. 2:52 PM]**

**KATIE!**

* * *

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:01 PM]_

_I can't believe you sent me nude pictures of you! My boss had to borrow my phone and your picture text came up while she was using it! Now she thinks I'm dating a porn actor or a stripper or something!_

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:01 PM]**

**Oopsies. My bad.**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:03 PM]_

_Yeah, your bad. I will get you back for this Diamond! Just wait and see. X-(_

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:03 PM]**

**Terrifying. I'm shaking in my XL briefs. Wanna know why they're extra large?**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:05 PM]_

_Because you're a huge dick? Better keep one eye open, Diamond._

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:06 PM]_

_Because I will rear end you._

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:07 PM]**

**Oooh, you have a strap-on? Kinky lil thing aren't you? I've never taken it in the ass before, could be interesting. You gonna make me your bitch? ;)**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri: 4:08 PM]_

…_Fucking auto correct! I meant, I WILL END YOU! *Cue evil laugh*._

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:09 PM]**

**Uh huh. Sure. Whatever you say, Baby Kat.**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri: 4:11 PM]_

_Just you wait, Diamond. Just you wait._

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:12 PM]**

**So you're not going to make me your bitch? I'm disappointed, Baby Kat, I really am.**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:13 PM]_

_*Growls* I'm going now._

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:13 PM]**

**Awww, aren't you cute? My little lion cub!**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:14 PM]_

_Um…Thanks…?_

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:17 PM]**

**1 New Picture Message.**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:19 PM]_

_Really?! You sent me a picture of a lion cub?! Do I look like a lion cub to you?!_

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:20 PM]**

**You're my Baby Kat/lion cub. Anyway, I got the doughnuts, cake, and cookies, along with the lemon pound cake you love so much.**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:22 PM]_

_Thanks….I'm going now._

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 4:30 PM]**

**1 New Picture Message.**

**[From: The Pain in My Ass: Fri. 4:30 PM]**

**Enjoy this magazine picture with me holding a baby lion :* Meet you at home!**

**[From: The Pain in My Ass: Fri. 5:02 PM]**

**This is the best dick I've ever had!**

**[From: The Pain in My Ass: Fri. 5:02 PM]**

**Or doughnut…**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Fri. 5:03 PM]_

_Someone making you their bitch, Jamie?_

**[From: The Pain in My Ass: Fri. 5:04 PM]**

**Fucking autocorrect -_-**

* * *

**Incoming Call From "The Pain in My Ass": Fri. 5:20 PM**

"What?"

"Hello to you too, Baby Kat."

"What do you want, James?"

"When are you leaving work?"

"I just did. Why?"

"Because. I'm lonely."

"So, go get a lion cub to keep you company."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"The zoo took a restraining order against me…Stop laughing, Katie!"

"What the hell did you do?!"

"They keep all those poor animals locked up, Katie! They're in cages!"

"They're not in cages. They're in enclosures that are simulated to replicate their natural habitats."

….

"In English, please?"

"Sheesh. I said, they're kept in closed in areas that are similar to the places where they grew up."

"Why couldn't you just say that?"

"I did say that!"

"You're just like Logan sometimes, you know that?"

"Thank you!"

"Fucking hell…"

"What's that banging noise?"

"I'm hitting my head against the wall."

"Poor wall."

"I'm going to go get some ice. My head hurts now."

"I'm shocked. You have such a hard head. It's a shame it's not actually protecting anything."

"Oh, hardy har, har, that was so fucking funny I forgot to fucking laugh."

"I thought it was. Anyway, I'm about to get into my car."

"You do that. The lemon pound cake is waiting for you."

"Goody. I love that pound cake. If I could, I would make love to it."

….

"You could make love to me…"

"Like I would. Gross."

"You would. It's why you went looking for my portfolio."

"I didn't go looking for it! I was looking for _my_ portfolio and I stumbled across yours."

"And? What did you think of it?"

"I…was…pleasantly surprised."

"Hah! I knew it! You think I'm hot."

"Guilty as charged."

"You want to fuck me!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Just because I think you're hot doesn't mean that I want to fuck you."

"Uh, it kind of does, Katie."

"It doesn't."

"It does."

"Doesn't."

"Does."

"Doesn't."

"Does."

"Doesn't."

"Doesn't."

"Does – damn it! STOP LAUGHING, JAMES! FUCKING HELL! I can't believe I was just tricked by you of all people!"

"Don't insult my intelligence, Baby Kat. It hurts."

"I thought sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt?"

"Well, words may sting a little…"

"Uh huh."

"Are you driving yet?"

"No, I'm sitting in my car, talking to you."

"Sounds worthwhile."

"Believe me, it's not."

"Just come home so that you can fuck me."

"I'm not fucking you!"

"So you say."

"It's not happening. I don't know where you go the dumbass idea that I'm going to sleep with you."

"From you looking at my nudes and admitting that you think I'm hot."

"Oh, for heaven's sake…"

"How do you like it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you prefer to be on top or on bottom?"

….

"Katie? Are you still there?"

"I'm not answering that, you perverted pig!"

"Bottom, huh? Up against a wall? Doggy style? Maybe handcuffed?"

….

"Katie?"

"Y-y-yeah?"

"Any preferences there?"

"Um…I have to go…"

"Getting all worked up?"

"I'm not answering that!'

"So you are."

"God! Can't you just shut up?"

"You shouldn't use the Lord's name in vain, and you certainly shouldn't tell him to shut up."

"Says the stripper and nude model. And I wasn't telling him to shut up! I was telling _you_!"

"_Part time_ stripper and _sometimes_ nude model! Sheesh. Get your facts right, Baby Kat. And that's rude"

"Right, my mistake. And oh well."

"'_Baby show me__  
__By the way you hold me__  
__Way that you control me__  
__Speed me up or slow me__  
__Oh when I'm lonely__  
__Full of stormy weather__  
__Can you make it better__  
__I heard what you told me__  
__So-o oh show me_.'"

….

"What the fuck was that?"

"I don't know, it just popped into my head. Catchy, huh? If there was a dance to it, there'd be a lot of hip swinging and pelvic thrusts."

"Uh huh…"

"So, figured out what position you want?"

"No."

"Playing hard to get, huh?"

"I'm not playing."

"Sure."

"I'm not!"

"Uh huh. Anyway, you know that text you sent Camille?"

"Which one?"

"The one from this morning."

….

"How do you know about it…?"

"Know why she never replied back?"

….

….

"You sent it to me. So, I'll be waiting in your bed, naked, with chocolate syrup, cherries, and whipped cream."

"Oh my God…"

"See you soon, Baby Kat."

"Um…See you soon…"

* * *

_[To: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:35 AM]_

_So…I took your _advice_._

_**[From: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:42 AM]**_

_**Yeah?**_

_[To: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:44 AM]_

_Yeah. I sent the text to James, pretending that I was talking to you. He totally bought it._

_**[From: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:45 AM]**_

_**And it worked?**_

_[To: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:46 AM]_

_Let me put it this way. I'll never look at chocolate syrup, cherries, and whipped cream the same way ever again. Best. Sex. Ever._

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Sat. 11:46 AM]**

**Stop texting Camille about how awesome sex is with me.**

_[To: The Pain in My Ass. Sat. 11:47 AM]_

_Like I would._

**[From: The Pain in My Ass. Sat. 11:47 AM]**

**You would. Now, get back to bed, Baby Kat. I'm waiting.**

_[To: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:48 AM]_

_Did I mention he's really hot?_

_**[From: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:49 AM]**_

_**A couple of times.**_

_[To: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:54 AM]_

_This is James. I stole Katie's phone. She's currently unavailable and will be for the next few hours. Have a good day, Cami. And wow, I can't believe I'm in her address book as Pain in My Ass…_

_**[From: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:55 AM]**_

…_**.**_

_[To: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:56 AM]_

_:D Au revoir. Buh bye. Don't text her, call her, or try to contact her in any way for the next few hours, please. Thanks! Oh, and also thanks for coming up with that plan about her pretending to text you. I owe you big time for that ;)_

_**[From: Camille Roberts. Sat. 11:57 AM]**_

_**Anytime…**_

* * *

**Oh my gosh...I can't look...*hides in closet and covers face*. Go easy on me, okay? Please? I'd ask you guys to review, but I'm a little afraid to hear your thoughts on it...So, um...*dashes away from computer*.**


End file.
